It’s funny how things end up 20, 30, or 50 years later
As you all know, I have tons to say about my dad. Most who are still living knew my dad as “ZL” although his given name was Zack Lymon Cloud. Lymon is definitely a name from years gone by. He was born October 9, 1925 and passed away on May 6, 1968. So, elementary math would have me 14 years old when he passed away. I have often been told, “I’d like to have met your dad because you talk about him an awful lot and most of the time it is about a whipping you got but you sure loved him.” That is very true about the whippings and the love I had for him. My fondest memories involve my dad and me doing something together and a lot of those memories were driving fast in his 1955/56 Ford.
He was a mechanic and by that, I mean he didn’t install shipped, rebuilt motors and transmissions, he rebuilt them himself. My mom used to say she was like the cobbler’s wife whose kids’ shoes were always in need of repair in that her car was that last to get fixed. That being said, I don’t ever remember being on the side of the road when I was riding with my mom. Dad was more old school than I am if that is possible. He was a firm disciplinarian and I have said this often and will say it many more times if I’m fortunate to keep writing – the discipline he handed out would have been considered child abuse and beyond in today’s world. My brother and I are both living examples that, if it was abuse, we turned out okay, for sure my brother better than I. He is the epitome of a good son, an awesome father and husband (everyone knows Debbie so she can adjust that if it needs to be). He followed in our father’s footsteps with discipline in that he did spank or whip his children.
I could never bring myself to do that but found other forms of discipline when in charge of children. My dad taught me so much about life. He taught me any job you do, do it with a good heart, do it thoroughly and in a way that your employer will see a need for you. He was a stickler for a clean car and a clean boat. Even in my younger years as a driver, I found myself very apprehensive about washing and detailing my car. I always felt like he was looking over my shoulder to see if I was doing a good job. I knew I did a good job driving because I could top his speeds when we would go cruising to ‘blow out’ a car – no chemicals for him to clean out a car when he could do it with speed.
I remember my mom and I would argue constantly, and I always felt like she ‘set me up’ because you know me and know I would argue with anyone. He woke me up one morning earlier than usual about two weeks before he passed away. We had cows and chickens that had to be taken care of before we went to school. He said, “Prissie, one thing you need to know, your mom is your mom and she’s always right between the two of you. I won’t always be here to end the fussing so you need to remember that.” I did but we still argued long after he passed away – I’ve never forgotten it though.
We were raised on a torn shoestring’s budget to say the least. We were taught family business stays within the family. I’m not sure how he would have handled social media had he lived to see it. Needless to say, with some of the stuff I put on Facebook, I might not be sitting to watch t.v. even at my ripe old age of ‘Dirt’ if he were here today.
He made it clear, whatever we had extra of, we were to share it with those less fortunate. I can without a doubt my brother and I have followed that teaching through today. I look back and realize just how tough my parents had it and how they used their own circumstances to stress the importance of getting an education whether it was in books or a trade. We never went to bed hungry, we had clean clothes and we had the best birthday parties in the neighborhood, all on a budget tighter than Dick’s hatband. In high school, I remember seeing others who didn’t appear to have as much as I had. That was the first time I think I realized we were not as poor as I thought we were because Dad was right, we didn’t go to bed hungry and we did have clean clothes, coats for warmth, kerosene early on for heat and then gas – no way did we have air conditioning, and I honestly say I don’t think we would have it today if he were still living. He wasn’t raised with a/c and he saw no need for it except that it made you weaker.
Sometimes I’ve been questioned at how could I continually praise my dad when he was so strict and in the words of some ‘mean’ but I owe my work ethic to him, my giving to others to him, and those same things I have tried to instill in my son – I just did it a little gentler than he did.
My dad was far from perfect, he drank alcohol (although he was sober many years before he passed away), he smoked cigarettes but was quick to say when they went to 75 cents a pack, he was throwing them down, he cussed a little but not much, but you never had to doubt where you stood with him and what the consequences would be for your actions. We knew he loved us, loved us enough to give us the foundation to take on the adult world as productive citizens.
I made a Facebook post sometime back and have had second thoughts, even third and fourth thoughts about it at various times. It was truly a hard decision for me. I am as independent and stubborn as any Sally mule you’ve ever seen. I totally do not like asking for help and that has made accepting my limitations a little harder in recent years. If you’ve ever read one of my rants/columns, you know where my heart is 99% of the time. I battle with myself about so many things, if someone is going hungry tonight, if a small child is going to wake up Christmas morning, just like any other morning and not realize it’s Christmas because there are no presents, not even a tree. I worry about the child who wants to play ball, has all the makings of a great teammate, no matter his talent level but ones I see have something to offer on the field also. How do you play baseball without a glove? So, I put out what has become known as a ‘calendar for money’ in many people’s eyes. With all that said, I went way back in my younger years and thought about my first experience with a negative nanny. She had criticized me giving money to my oldest nephew (age 4 at that time) to give to a man who was hungry, saying he’d just buy whiskey with it. I responded that I would rather give money to a hundred folks, if out of that hundred, just one went to bed without hunger pains and the other 99 went to bed drunk.
I tried to visualize what my dad would think of my post and am still working on that today, but I know I slept very well that night with thoughts about how much help I would be able to offer because of that post. The times we are living in now are nowhere near where they were at that time. Once again, I will be putting out a calendar to provide assistance to individuals I know who are in need of assistance, not for Christmas, although that does come into play, but for food, basic needs they have that are not being met. I’m not pressuring anyone but I am offering the opportunity for anyone who would like to assist to be able to do so. And that’s about as straight-forward as it gets from Prissie.
