It’s time for a proper goodbye to Tut. . .
By Shelia Mader
It seems like forever ago now, but it was only a few years back that I renewed a friendship that was formed as an acquaintance 50 years ago. I was a student at Chipola College and I met ‘Tut’ in a Wednesday night Humanities class. The hours at that time were totally different than they are now. Class began at 6:30 and ended at 9:45. It was a three-hour class and you were given a 15-minute break and our professor was adamant it was to be accounted for. She was considered an older student, one returning as she said, “to learn about the ancient Greek ruins”. Not me- I was there because it was required and I could have cared less about the Parthenon, the Greek ruins, the Acropolis, any of that. It was midway through the semester when I learned to appreciate her desire for learning about something that was from such a distant path and across the ocean from the United States. I had always liked history in school but to me it was different. My love was American history and why would I care about ancient Greek anything. Tut had a way of persuading you like no one I’ve ever seen before. Today, I can’t hear anything on the news, read it in print media about Greece without thinking of Tut.
Tut came about a few years ago and not without some controversy about six months into her ‘existence’. She emailed me one day and as always addressed me as ‘Dirt’ and signed off as ‘Tut’. Her husband saw the email and said to her, “You can’t call someone DIRT!” Well, as only ‘Tut’ could do, she made it clear that she could in fact call me Dirt, that was my name and her name was Tut! She pulled up a column from the Times and also showed him previous emails where I had indeed signed off as Dirt. And so, we continued to be Dirt and Tut with no issues. Tut had a calming effect on everyone no matter the situation. As loyal ‘rant’ readers know, sometimes Dirt could get sideways for lack of a better word. I always, always sent my columns/rants to Tut and she never disappointed. She would critique and return with her ‘suggestions’. Not once was she wrong, not even close.
We agreed on so many things and I don’t know that we ever disagreed. She was better than Tom Sawyer ever thought about being when it came to changing your mind, your attitude, your words into a ‘less harsh’ but equally successful in getting your point across. Tut was from an era where women earned respect just by their actions (or lost respect because of their actions). I can promise you, Tut never ever lost any respect from anyone. She was a class act, notches above the norm and in the words of Julia Sugarbaker, she was elegant to the nth degree. She truly oozed elegance. She gained respect when she walked into a room just by her presence, her walk was so unique and you just knew she was a lady through and through.
Tut’s dress never changed to fit what I call the temporary times. Everything she wore, from the most casual to the fanciest of dress fit for a debutant ball, Tut’s attire every day was as classy as Princess Di, Queen Elizabeth, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, or Laura Bush.
A few weeks before she passed away, I had sent her my rant. She didn’t email it back, rather sent me a text via email (she too struggled with technology, another common trait we shared) that we needed a visit. I made it happen because I knew it must be serious if it was an in-person critique. When we met and I asked ‘How bad was it?’, she looked at me like I had a third eye. She immediately asked, “What do you mean?” I explained that since she didn’t send back any suggestions, it must have been really in the trash to require an in-person meeting. She laughed, and wow did she have the most awesome laugh and smile, and yes, it was just as above the norm as the rest of her qualities. She said, “Not at all Dirt, I think this is one of the best rants I’ve read!” You could have knocked me over with a feather.
And now that I am all up in my feelings, I will close but not before I say this: I have toned down some things and some things I just can’t, but I will avoid ranting about them without Tut here to bring me back down to reality. One area we totally 100% agreed on every time was the roles of teachers in schools now as opposed to back ‘in our day’.
Rest in peace Tut, you are missed every minute of every day and I know you’re looking down on me right now. I can hear you saying, “Dirt, tears are for bedtime, not for public!” And so I apologize for the tears and Dirt is now laid to rest officially! Much love Tut, Prissie.